Kindness (n): the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.This year for lent (something I don't usually practice), I decided to challenge myself personally to spread kindness around for 40 days. I completely respect the idea of lent and what it represents, but it just has never struck a chord with me. Instead of denying myself something, I decided to instead give things to others. 40 days of thinking of others before myself. 40 days of searching for the good in people rather than being annoyed by their faults or their apparent sins. 40 days of giving the benefit of the doubt in all situations. 40 days of seeking opportunities to show complete strangers the love of Christ and the support I have been shown by my own friends. I challenged myself to really, truly practice what I preach. To "walk the walk" in addition to talking the talk. To actually stop and think "what would Jesus do? How would He love on this person?" When I was down, instead of feeling sorry for my own circumstances and struggles, I intentionally sought out ways to lift up others who may also be having a hard time.One thing I hoped to accomplish: doing good for the benefit of others, without getting credit or any reward other than just knowing for myself that I did the right thing. I wanted to experience the joy that comes from truly helping others, and receive absolutely nothing else in return. I didn't share with anyone what I was doing or why for the whole 40 days. I don't want recognition. I didn't want to do any of this for attention. I wanted it to change me, but I didn't want it to be about me. I really truly wanted to learn to be genuinely generous. With my money, my time, and my heart. Most of these actions cost me nothing at all, but the payoff was, you could say, worth a million bucks.A few of my favorite acts of kindness, and what I learned from them:
Keep snacks in your car to share with the homeless
Write a positive note to your server on your receipt
Bring an extra coffee with you to work and give it to a friend
Put a generous tip in the jar at the coffee shop
Give an unexpected gift
Send someone a letter (yes in the real mail!)
Thank someone who has a hard job
Call an old friend and catch up
Write to an old teacher and thank them for influence on your life
Write a letter to my sponsored child in TOGO
Assemble personal care bags and distribute them to the homeless you come across
Leave anonymous notes of encouragement around your workplace
Leave a thank you note in your mailbox for the mail carrier
Suddenly, instead of being annoyed that there were yet again homeless people at the freeway exit on my way to work, I was excited to be able to roll down my window and give them some of my granola bar stash.The simple act of ordering two coffees when I would normally order one completely turned a friend's bad day around. (The power of Dutch bros is incredible, friends) Instead of wishing to sit in silence, I was so excited when one of the hospital housekeepers stepped into the elevator with me- I struck up a conversation with her and took some time to thank her for everything she does. I simply reminded her how much we appreciate their hard work. The look on her face was priceless. She was a little confused, but I just wished her a good day and continued on my way.Instead of grumbling along with everyone else about a rough night in the ER, I thought of a way to brighten the night. Though I was quickly discovered to be the culprit, I found so much joy in sneaking around the nurses station to leave "anonymous" positive sticky notes on keyboards. (technically this one backfired on me when a nurse thoroughly and loudly complained to others for days that a note had not been left on her keyboard as it was on a few others)
***side note... shoutout to my 2 amazing teammates and friends who defended my character when I was not there to do it myself. Heart you a lot.
A couple days later, I stopped at a light next to a homeless person on the corner with a sign reading "homeless vet, anything helps". I offered him a granola bar and my newly assembled personal care bag, but he refused and told me "you can keep that for yourself". Yikes!
Well then... Double whammy! 2 fails in a row. I felt more than a little discouraged, but regardless, I continued to look for ways to help others around literally every corner:Looking for the lost person in the hospital who needs directions, rather than trying to avoid making eye contact. Picking up pieces of trash everywhere I went instead of thinking "that's not my job". Simply the act of searching for the next recipient of each act of kindness in and of itself changed me and how I went about my day. Studies show that it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit. Only about 20 more and I'm on my way to a whole new "habit" of caring for others. All the time. Because we are called to love. I'm leaving this season with a new appreciation for what I have. A humble, loving attitude towards those less fortunate than I. A fresh perspective on how to help friends and strangers alike. A keen eye for friends around me who may struggling and how I can help encourage them along their journey. A commitment to myself to continue to spread kindness. An understanding of just how far a little bit of positive energy and kindness can take someone.And yes, perhaps most striking, tonight I'm reflecting on the realization that no matter how hard you try to spread kindness like confetti, there will always be someone trying to drag you down. Criticizing your intentions. Complaining about your actions. Calling you horrible, ugly names that you feel you don't deserve. But if you choose to ignore the ever-present and unfortunately loud voice of negativity, you may just be able to spread enough positivity to drown it out altogether.
"A man is not defined by what he has. What matters is the value he lives by and what he does for others" - Henri Landwirth