"The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still"“Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today"
Stillness is something I struggle with. I think on some level we all do, in this crazy fast-paced world we live in. We are always striving: for more money, more friends, more popularity, more likes on Instagram. Every moment of what might otherwise be considered "downtime" is either filled with social media scrolling, email checking, voicemail listening and inevitably, thinking about the endless checklist of tasks that we should be doing.Even beyond the rat race of this life, though, stillness is a personal challenge. Stillness, in its truest form, brings out a scary level of vulnerability, a vivid self awareness, and opens the window for anxiety to sneak in. God calls us to be still while He fights our battles for us. To sit back and relax, fully trusting in his works and His ability to fight for our good. But something about the quietness and the emptiness of the moment is, in its own way, terrifying. If we keep up with the day-to-day, staying busy and occupied from dusk to dawn, the fears and anxieties somehow find themselves pushed further and further from our consciousness. So much so that we can even convince our own selves that they don't exist. A moment of stillness invites those fears in and offers them a home cooked meal and shelter for the evening. So we press on and on, living without recognition of those emotions
.Enter: vacation.
Something about being out in the woods or on the beach brings out the best in my relationship with stillness. Maybe it's the lack of internet and break from obsessive social media comparisons. Or maybe it's just that I'm observing the beauty of Gods creation in its most obvious and pure form. Whatever it is, It allows me to sit, truly still, and still feel some peace somehow. It allows me to feel intensely grateful for the beauty in front of me, and the friends walking beside me. It allows me to realize things about myself that I haven't previously recognized.Sitting here on this swing, only 2 hours from home but what feels like worlds away, I find a restored hope deep down inside of me. I find a renewed recognition that his promises are true, and that He will fight for me while I sit right here and focus on nothing but the beauty of the moment I'm living in. And best of all, I find a glimpse of the carefree, fun-loving girl I used to be. It feels good to know she's still in there somewhere.It's not easy, and I have to work at it, but if I can push past the intense fear of being still, the fear of what will invade my mind in the quietness of this moment, I can find a way to, through the dirt between my toes and the breeze in the trees, see clearly how incredibly beautiful His creation is. And that soon leads to the realization that I, too, am his beautiful creation and that He stands in awe of my life and His plans for it, just as I stand in awe of the beauty of these trees and the creatures that live in them. And if I stay still long enough to tune out the stressful noise of 21st century life, I might just be able to hear His calming voice instead.So, I appreciate this fleeting moment of stillness and the opportunity it provides to just hit "pause" on the rest of life. I take time to thank God for the beauty in front of me. I thank Him for the friends walking beside me, showing me His love every single day. I apologize for the number of times in recent months that I have so deeply questioned His goodness. And I thank Him for continuing to call out to me, even when I refuse to get quiet enough to listen.
Heading home, I'm incredibly thankful for this temporary "vacation" stress-free feeling and the rejuvenation it provides. Because its not the type of thing you can bottle up and take home with you. If only it was.So, stillness. I'm sorry for the way I've so forcefully pushed you away for so long until I didn't even realize I was doing it.
Until next time, Stillness. I'll try to visit with you more often.