"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus"There’s no sugar coating it: sometimes giving thanks is H A R D. We all have something to be thankful for, sure, but in times of suffering, fear, darkness, unknown futures, in the days that we feel EVERYTHING that can go wrong is going wrong , we are still called to be thankful. To clarify, though, we are not expected to be thankful FOR these circumstances necessarily, but we are called to be thankful IN them. Thankful in times of physical illness. Thankful in times of unrest. Thankful in times of unemployment. Thankful in times of financial hardships. Thankful in times of personal conflict. Thankful in times of confusion and heartache.So in the midst of what feels like the hardest season of all my 24 years, I’m thankful. I'm not thankful for the circumstances that have left me broken hearted and confused. Im not thankful for my mom's illness, for the car accident I️ was in, or for the unexpected loss of my dream job. I'm not thankful for the chronic illness that has taken away so many of my abilities or for the way Satan has successfully attacked me in my time of weakness. I'm not thankful for the circumstances this year that have taught me true faith and patience.But here's what I️ am thankful for.I’m thankful for the amazing best friends who have answered all the panicked phone calls, who have reached out, shown me love and carried me through this.I’m thankful for my family who has continually reminded me I’m still worth loving; and beyond that who has stepped up to support me without making me feel in any way less of an adult.I’m thankful for the promise that this season, however long it is, will end in some kind of victory.I’m thankful for the belief that through these times, God is shaping me to be exactly who He intended me to be from the very beginning.I'm thankful that through these times, I have felt called to share my faith with those who don't know Jesus.I'm thankful for the amount of motivation and perseverance I have learned through my fight back to health.I’m thankful that when I️ feel like I’m drowning in the midst of my brokenness and failures, the holidays come around to remind me to count my blessings and successes.And I’m thankful that I️ have so many people around me to remind me of this every single day when I forget it all over again.To those of you who also find yourselves in a difficult season and having a hard time giving thanks, know that you are not alone. From the bottom of my trench to yours, Happy Thanksgiving.
Life lessons from Taylor Swift
Heres the thing about Taylor Swift: you either hate her or you love her. And no, thats not a revolutionary idea. Isn't that true of every single one of us? I, personally, fall in the "love her" category, and this is why:When I️ was 15 and a teenager fiercely seeking independence, she released a song that reminded us all to appreciate and love our parents. She pleaded with us to remember that they were the ones who would swoop in and save them every time we needed saving. She reminded us to thank them for protecting us, loving us, and giving us all of our best days.When I️ was 17 trying desperately to recover from years of torture from high school bullies, she released a song about bullies and mean people of all kinds. She talked about not even feeling okay because of all their hurtful words, and most importantly, she emphasized learning to rise above these people and their words to create your own success story.When I️ was 19, she released a song about what it’s like to be in your 20s, to feel "happy free confused and lonely at the same time". To feel like you’re simultaneously living the dream and somehow also feeling isolated and confused. Amen, sister.
When I️ was 21, she released a fun, lighthearted song about not letting the haters get you down. She reminded us to keep dancing, keep living, and keep our lights shining bright. She asked us to brush off hateful comments, judgemental people, and to just keep being unapologetically REAL regardless of what others think.And now, in 2017, in the middle of a messy, messy, world, she releases an album with a message more important and more relevant than ever before. No, I️ can’t say I️ relate to being madly in love, or to saying that I’m doing better now than I️ ever was before, but heres what I️ have learned that I can relate to, and it’s important:No matter what you do, people will always hate you, break you, and make you out to be something you’re not. If you live your life trying to please an audience of millions, you are bound to fail 100% of the time. Sometimes these false perceptions will be an innocent misunderstanding, but other times it’s a result of actual intended malice- people who intend to hurt you, and you let them succeed. They spread this false image of you so far and wide that even YOU begin to believe it’s the truth. And that’s the most dangerous part of all. So at some point in your life, you must make the conscious decision to choose to believe in your true self, and refuse to believe in the "you" that the world has made you out to be. And only when you do that will you achieve true, real, raw, genuine happiness.
Thank you, Taylor, for your music, and your heart, but more than anything, for being willing to spread a message of self-love and acceptance no matter how many people told you to keep quiet.
Called to Love
I am always hesitant to say or do anything that will rock the boat or start a divisive conversation. But I think its only fair that if I’m an openly proud Christian, I should be equally vocal about my opinion on “controversial” issues. So here’s my jumbled thoughts on #nationalcomingoutday. Sure, gay people are not living life exactly according to how God intended or instructed. But I’ll be the first to admit, neither am I. I’m completely imperfect, broken at times, and consistently make mistakes. My sin is no better or more holy than yours, because that’s simply impossible. The coolest thing about Christianity, though, is that God loves me anyway, despite so many flaws. Everytime I walk, run, or sprint away from Him and into a sinful world full of bad decisions, he chases me down more intensely than before and quietly whispers “I am here, and I still love you”. Over and over again, until I finally listen. He doesn’t give up or say “well now she’s really done it....” he continues to love and pursue me until I choose to hear the whisper. His love did not come with a caveat, like “I love you but only if you make good choices and do exactly as I said” or “I love you but you need to be better”. In fact, He explicitly showed love to those who made the wrong choice. That’s simply who He was. Jesus didn’t come to save those who already knew Him. He came for the broken, the hurting, the criminals. He came for the tax collectors, the unloveable, the “least of these”. He came for the lepers, and showed them love amongst those refused to do so. He is the KING of unpopular opinions and controversial decisions. He loved to rock the boat in order to save those who were deemed “unlovable”. He was mocked for what He did, and ridiculed for who He loved. But He did it anyway. What if, instead of trying to “pray away the gay” we as Christians decided instead to pray FOR the gay and agree to walk alongside them lovingly and patiently as Jesus himself once did? And not because we want them to change, but because we want them to experience His pure and real love. Christianity has nothing to do with loving other Christians, and everything to do with radically loving everyone the way Jesus did, without caveats, without judgment, without pointing fingers. Why? Because it’s what Jesus would do.
“Oh Jesus, friend of sinners Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours”
The Middle
Hello friends,It's me! Reaching out from the middle. Everybody has a middle, you see, at some time or another. It's that space in between the beginning, filled with excitement and anticipation, and the happy ending, where we rejoice and celebrate. The middle is different. The middle is messy, confusing, wrought with pain.Paul Scanlon spoke at our church (Hillsong Phx) this morning about the middle. He titled his message "the agony of the divine delay". The agony of the divine delay, as he explains it, is the painful time "between tragedy striking and God intervening. It’s about the times in our lives when God seems absent, invisible, deaf, silent and indifferent to our pain and suffering"The middle, if you will.He touched on why it can be so hard to feel stuck in the middle, and what it means,as a christian ,to go through the middle, and what it means to support those who are going through their own middle. Some points worth emphasizing:
More people walk away from church during the middle than during any other time of their life. It's hard to worship when you feel like God doesn't like you or that He's forgotten about you, when you feel sure that He has left your side. The reality is this: if your life was dusted for God's fingerprints, they would be everywhere; you just cant see them because they aren't in obvious places and they aren't where you are used to looking
The trouble with being in the middle is that when you're in the middle, you don't know how big it is. You're promised that "better days are ahead" and "the best is yet to come", but when? Tomorrow? 10 years from now? When you're living in the middle its impossible to know when it will be over.
"Come as you are" really means come as you are. It doesn't mean come as you are but please wear a mask. Or, come as you are but please don't talk about how God's forgotten about you. The reality is that even during biblical times, prophets were not afraid to speak out on the matter of feeling abandoned. Habbukuk says "God, how long do I have to cry out for help before you listen? How many times do I have to yell “Help! Murder! Police!” before you come to the rescue?Why do you force me to look at evil, stare trouble in the face day after day?
It's much easier to be someone's friend and support system at the end of the fairy tale; during the happy ending. It's much easier to high-five, rejoice with each other, and laugh about how tough the middle was. Supporting someone in the midst of their middle means sitting down right next to them in their proverbial jail cell and seeking to understand how they feel. Comforting them during this time is about being present; not about fixing anything. Comfort says "I see you. I'm with you".
It doesn't matter how slowly or closely to the ground you are crawling. You don't have to stand tall, strut your stuff. This is not a runway or a fashion show. Not right now. Not in the middle. It only matters that you keep moving.
Paul explained how, as Christians (and really as humans) we put on a "church mask" or even more realistically I'd argue, a "life mask". We walk with our heads held high, smiles on our face, trusting that no one wants to meet us in the middle. Believing that we must pretend to be in a whole different season for the sake of friendship and for the sake of those around us. Society tells us it's not acceptable to be the "debbie downer", the "buzz kill", or the "negative nancy". So we put our masks on and refuse to acknowledge the middle. And for me, certainly, it has felt important to wear the mask because everyone else's middle seemed so much worse than mine. While still feeling lost in the middle, I am acutely aware of those who's current circumstances are much more tragic than mine. Thus, the mask.Maybe you can relate to this from a time in your past. Do you remember in the midst of the middle, putting on the mask, trudging on, living as if you were already through the other side, already found your happy ending? Replying "good! how are you?" to every well-meaning greeting from friends?Maybe you're like me, and you've been wearing the mask so consistently for so long that you didn't even realize you were still in the middle. You worked so hard to convince the people around you that you were not in the middle that you actually believed it yourself. You became so sick of feeling broken and forgotten that instead of leaning into that feeling and dealing with it, you actually convinced yourself the middle was over. Only to someday, somehow, realize that without your mask on, you, too, are in the middle.
Friends, some of you may be in the middle now. You may remember these feelings from the past, and you're looking back from the happy ending point of view. Or maybe you have yet to relate to this. As a christian and as your friend, I want to promise you that I will walk through this season with you when it is your turn. I will not expect you to wear your mask; in fact I will ask you to please take it off. I will not try to fix you or say anything to make you feel that you're broken. I will sit next to you in your jail cell and look at the world and at God from your point of view. I will love you, and I will say "I see you. I'm here". I will pray for you; not because there is anything wrong with you but because I know what it feels like to be in the middle. Keep your chin up, and keep moving. Even if it's a crawl, even if you're hardly dragging yourself across the floor. Just. Keep. Going. The best is yet to come
.Signed,
Sarah from the middle.
***if this resonated with you at all, please consider checking out Paul's message here: The Agony in the Divine Delay .